Hi everyone. Wade’s wife Christine here. I hacked into Wade’s blog again to make sure he’s not planning on posting more podium girl shots. While I’m here I thought I’d give some good advice on how to have a successful leisurely ride with your wife. This activity used to end up in smoke for us, but after a few training sessions we’re starting to get the hang of riding together. Here’s a few hints:
1. Get your ride off to a good start by complimenting your partner on how great and thin she looks in her spandex. This will go a long way before you’ve even left the house. Caution: Make absolutely certain your compliment sounds genuine otherwise it could have the opposite effect i.e, your partner accuses you of lying or making fun of her and your ride is over before it started.
2. NEVER half-wheel your partner (this will cause unneeded tension and likely lead to an argument).
3. On that same note, REFRAIN from commenting on how nice it is to just “spin it out” and ride at a slow pace. Trust me, she is most likely riding as fast as she possibly can in order to keep up with your “recovery” ride.
4. REFRAIN from talking about ANYTHING bike related. Preferred topics include gossiping about various people, deciding what to do with the rest of your day, life planning etc.
5. REFRAIN from breaking in conversation with your partner by waving and chatting to every single cyclist you pass on the road. Yes, you may know them and even be friends but they will understand your lack of social grace when they spot your partner (unless of course you’re half-wheeling her at this point and they think you’re riding alone). Pretending you don’t see them is even accepted and understood.
6. DO, push your partner up any big hills if she appears to be tiring. Caution: ASK before doing this or your gesture (albeit well intended) could lead to an argument….after-all we are quite capable of riding up a hill….or so the argument might go.
7. DO, buy the coffee when you stop for a break.
8. DO, offer to carry as many of your partners bike-related belongings (tools, pumps etc.) as possible. Her comfort is your happiness.
9. REFRAIN from offering tips on her technique unless your advice is explicitly solicited. Unwanted advice can lead to retaliation criticism of your own biking style…which always has the possibility of leading to criticism about you in general! Best to keep all comments to compliments and encouraging remarks.
10. Finally, remember that your bike is likely three times the cost of her bike and therefore three times as efficient. At least that’s my theory and justification when trying to keep up!
Ladies, please feel free to add to the list or alternatively, if you blokes have any tips for us in order to enjoy our leisurely together, now’s your chance!
{ 58 comments }
Isn’t she wonderful? Wish I had these tips before our first few rides together. Took a while to work it all out…
;-)
Well I sort of agree with most of what you say Christine, but I guess there’s always an exception, the lead photo says it all ……she’s pushing him, I regularly push my partner a (women also) I have been known to push some of my male friends although sometimes having to promise not to tell anyone (they are a fragile breed), I definitely agree with the buy the coffee option.
Christine, thanks for hacking on Wade’s blog.
pip
So SO So True,
May I add point number 11 (the most important one):
NEVER suddenly accelerate and hoon off in a male-rider challenge during a “leisurely” group ride, as this always leaves your wife far behind, struggling, panting, helpless, hopeless… and ANGRY! This point should be adhered to no matter what your wife says, or how much she says it is OK…
I do ride with my partner, but for her to come out it must be sunny, 32 to 34 degrees and no wind. So there are about three suitable days per year. Fine with me. But the tip about looking good in Lycra, it applies to all sexes. I’m sick of people saying: “Geez Tommy you’ve put on a couple of kilos” every time I come to Cafe Racer.. When someone looks bigger I always say: “Geez you are looking strong” ha ha
i get told i look strong a lot!!!
REFRAIN from telling your wife it gets easier with time and that its only hurting til she builds up her fitness. Particularly when she hasn’t commented that it is hurting at all. Leads to an argument.
DO let her drop you on a hill or beat you in a mock sprint. She’ll know you could beat her (assuming you can) so you really don’t need to ruin the fun of the moment. Leads to an argument.
do the rules apply if he is invited along to her cycling group?
if he is invited to her group ride is it ok for him to sit at the back, courtesy says ladies first, or (is that perving.. ooops i mean; )or is he expected to ride at the front and shield the ladies from the oppressive headwind?
Haha well put Christine. I especially agree with rules 2, 6, 7 and 8. My partner recently bought me a decent road bike (still less than half he price of his) and cool looking ninja spandex so i can look the part. He has followed most of these simple steps and as a result my rides have been very enjoyable as of yet. i am of the opinion that carrying extra bike parts, pushing your lovely partner up the hill, or even riding your fixie to keep the same pace will result in better training.
is it ok for me to ride my mountain bike, it is slower than my road bike and therefor easier to stay at my girl’s speed?
Oh yah a mountain bike is perfect with big knarly tyres!
but then i wouldn’t be able to hear her sweet lovely voice over the rrrRRRRrrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRRRrrRRRR of the tyres..
Many thanks for this post and the additional comments. I’m trying to get my girl into cycling on a more serious level and these tips will make my life much easier. Think a climbing ride is hard? Not even close.
When we started cycling, my wife would KICK my butt on every ride. Never saw which was she went. Now the tables have turned. Show no mercy I say.. hehe (not that she would want me to take pity on her and nor does she need it). Oh and my wife’s new bike is worth twice mine, it’s lighter and handles better! But my shoes are better. ;)
They should be doing the dishes or ironing not riding. Remember what WIFE stands – Washing, Ironing, F*cking, etc
SOLID
This advice is right on the mark! My husband is good at all of them and I frequently remind him that it’s his bike that is more efficient and that’s why I SOMETIMES fall behind. I guess I should compliment him on the spandex but as well as they work is there really anyone who looks good in them?
I look like a greek god in my spandex! :p
Christine, great post. I have learned MOST of these points but it has taken a number of years for me to learn. I guess I’m just a slow learner.
lol im betting the boss is not married…
And will never be! haha
If he was his wife would be called the boss unless she allowed him to use the name for a short while to build his confidence.
Ha! Yeah, typical. I bet The Boss is some efiminant Pinarello riding closet gay.
Monsieur Turner came out of the closet a while back….
I’ve been trying for years to get my wife to join me and have failed miserably, mind you I have done some of these don’ts.
it will end in tears
My wife’s comments “That’s Brilliant”
hahaha – classic!
Oh, and while you’re at it Mrs Cycling Tips – can you validate CT’s comments about not stinking in his merino gear, dsepite travelling for days on end in the same clothes???
Before you head off….you should say….are your tyres ok??? Hold on I wil check them for you…..and then you check the tyres and that the bike is ok……..not leave your wife partner and head off whilst she is madly trying to pump up tyres and get on the road (which happened here yesterday)…..and “Sorry I thought your bike looked ok” just doesnt cut it…
AND give her a $50 note just in case she needs it to pack a torn tyre!!! (ooops – not very PC)
My wife is a damn good rider. We ride MTB and she is FEARLESS! She loves going fast and riding over stuff. She drops me on hills like Armstrong dropped Ulrich.
Shit my wife gets upset when someone passes her! If it’s a woman sitting on her wheel it’s even worse. I have to let her know that it is ok to have a leisurely ride as we are going to be out for a couple of hours! She is a PT and 45 so it’s understandable I suppose?
DON’T ride ahead and come back, ride ahead and come back, stand, show-off, circle her, wash-rinse-repeat and otherwise look bored. You make it obvious that you’re going “too slow.” We don’t care if you need to “stay loose.” When I biked across the U.S., the male riders babysitting me near the back of the group used to do these things, and it discouraged me. I felt like I was being circled by buzzards as I huffed and puffed over the Colorado Rockies. When I rode calmly with a rider who was much slower than I, she was appreciative of the small-talk and my steady presence just behind her shoulder when climbing hills.
P.S. Now I need someone to write about “How to ride with your runner husband.” He got himself a decent bike but just can’t get into it.
We riders need to remember that non riders will take a while to get into it; a little patience will go a long way. I ride with the “fast guys” and then with my wife to get her into it!
#10 can’t be emphasized enough — more expensive ride = lighter, quicker, faster. If you want a bit of a work out and not just a recovery ride, take out yer heavy grocery-getter with the rack and trunk.
Wear your commuting backpack (picnic, anyone?).
Underinflate your tires.
Wear your big, floppy jersey to catch the wind.
And, mash big gears in your favorite tennies and platform pedals.
:-)
My partner agreed with these and told me to subscribe to this blog :)
Riding is a man’s quality time, either alone or spent with friends. He doesn’t want his ‘missus’ along.
Girls, you’re man is being a pain in the ar$e to discourage your ideas of riding together. C’mon guys stand up for yourselves. Just say “No!”.
Sadly I stand with the truth on this one. Riding with your partner is shite – always. It is sad seeing emasculated men pedaling meekly along with their partners, whilst studiously avoiding eye contact with their peers… Find some girls to ride with girls (and ditto boys) – the longest ride you should ever do with your partner is to the nearest brunch stop. Otherwise it will ALWAYS eventually end in tears. And yes, this even applies to the fit ones and those that look hot in their lycra….
Is Dave Ollie out there? Send us a copy of the tale of the climb up Lake Mountain with your partner, true or fiction? from Freewheel Magazine? of years ago.
Great post.
Number 9 is a MUST. Leave coaching to friends, it should never come from a partner (this goes for any sport).
If your partner wants you to go in the front so she can draft, never go onto the drops not matter how much head wind there is, in fact sit up as tall as possible. You need to be careful with being in the front to make sure you dont accidentally leave her behind, especially on any rises/hills.
If there is a long hill and she says, “i’ll see you at the top”, just tell her that you are hurting as well and prefer to stay at ‘this’ pace and start talk about the next coffee stop :)
Brilliant post. My wife and I read it together and had a few laughs of discomfort. We both know you’re soooo right in some of your points.
As my wife and I reflect on your post, all of a sudden we are at point #9. She’s asking me how painful she is to ride with. I’m doing what the post says and telling her how hot she looks right now.
Great commentary Christine
Can I add
*Allowing us sufficient time to warm up. which means riding at our pace for the first 10 minutes – not taking off and waiting for us to catch up at the traffic lights.
*If you would like your wife or partner to ride with you more than once (or ever again) do not plan the first experience to be a mini Audax! Do not ride out to Yarra Glen; a combination of challenges – hills, semi trailers, 100km zones and in the pouring rain! She who is usually composed and not easily defeated is most likely to suggest you ride back home and come and pick her up and the bike is going back on EBAY, or will at least give you an honest appraisal regarding your ability to plan a fun morning.
*Accept that all rides must be towards a coffee shop and ALWAYS have enough coin on you to at least buy her a coffee – offering her a swig of your endura just doesn’t cut it.
*Finally, never comment that the donut she is ordering is putting back on all the calories she just burnt off ,and why doesn’t she have a dried fig instead?
It really spoils the moment.
Thankfully, these past and potential hinderances have been discussed and ironed out and riding together is great!
Felicity Marsland. :)
Crikey! I read:
1) don’t get married
2) don’t go bike-riding with your partner
:P
Do not take your wife off road her first day on clip pedals. Not very nice.
Nice! My husband has committed a couple of these offenses, but it’s still fun riding together. He’s lucky he looks good in Spandex.
We go grocery shopping together on bikes. I ride a light road bike, and he takes a heavy steel fixie with the grocery trailer on the back. That evens things out pretty well.
If you’re guilty of going ahead of your partner etc. (which I find nigh-on impossible not to – seriously), then DO ride a slower bike (e.g., a heavy townie with fat under-inflated tyres) when she’s on her roadie. DO ensure that the chain drops at least once every 10 km, the gears slip on inclines >3% and that it handles so poorly you have to slow to <10km/hr to take even the slightest bend.
The tandem was our solution. How many times I’m pounding 170 bpm while my wife comments on the scenery…we are always together. Stoking is not for everyone but it works for us.
Great advice .I took it one step further and bought her a cannondale w campy groupo twice the cred of my entry level 105 equiped raceline. Quite a clever ploy I thought still the arguments happened.Now I’m riding a pake track frame mostly soma equiped and mels got a rebuilt bennett with the groupo off the dale set up as a s/speed and can’t keep her off it.I think its got a lot to do with the tech side of 18 gears,brake lever positioning and an uncomfortable riding posi.
not to mention strapless clip in pedals
Great piece of writing… just loved it… it made me laugh at myself. In fact, I laughed till I had tears flowing down my cheeks! It’s so ‘on the mark’ that I couldn’t contain myself. It actually says a lot about me and how I react to certain situations – am I really that touchy??? No wonder hubby acts like he’s walking on eggshells around me! I’ll share this with him and after we both stop giggling, I think we’ll head out with a refreshing sense of humour. Thank you Chris!
Agree with above and from personal experience, I can suggest
1. Buy her a bike as expensive as yours, that’s fair and guess what, yours will live inside as well. Same principle with kit and accessories
2, Train together and if shes into the gym buy her cycling spin shoes
3. Do big hill climbs, chances are she’ll beat you up Mt Buller as shes probably slimmer as she feeds you too well
4. Maybe I’m lucky shes a climber, I’m a sprinter and it cancels out on a good day
Get that right and she’ll insist the bike go on Holidays or at least hire bikes from Hollywood Pro cycles (true story)
So I’m hoping to get my wife out again soon – we’ve got 2 young kids (2yo boy and 7mo girl) and so whilst poppin’ out the kiddies she hasn’t been on the bike (its been gathering dust, I’ve got it out and cleaned it a couple of times). However she’s back in shape now, and getting to the gym, and I figure the time is right. My answer to the speed thing… take the SS and tow the kids in the trailer – I honestly suspect _I’ll_ struggle to keep up with her!
I’m sending this to my husband straight away !
Nice but what if the wife is pretty good?! Hmm. Anyway, hubby bying coffee is always a winner…and telling wife that she looks slim in her bibs also!
Love your blog!
Mjo
Hi Cycling Tips! I just written a blog article about Riding with your Wife :) Took onboard some of your tips and its a great ride we both did with a group in Taiwan through some beautiful scenery. Photos are also on display. View here: http://poweredbyusana.blogspot.com/2009/12/ridi...
The title for these tips should probably be re-written as “Riding with your spouse if your spouse is not a competitive cyclist”. Sorry, but as a femme cyclist that regularly pushes (and is pushed by) my husband, I think it's important to get past the male-centred stereotypes of the cycling world.
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 2 trackbacks }