Life Tips For Gerro

September 2, 2009 · Comments

gerroI’m not sure if anyone noticed but Gerro stopped by Cycling Tips last week and left a comment.   Presumably Gerro was Googling the search terms “Stage Win Vuelta Cycling Tips” and he eventually ended up here (actually, I asked him to stop by).   He also jumped on the opportunity to plug is own blog as he may feel like he’s not getting enough media these days and is trying to hijack my readers.  Very cheeky.  Anyway, here’s what he had to say:

Wade,
Congrats on a great web-site and thank you! I now have a place to go when I’m in need of some tips or advice on anything to do with cycling, or life in general. Also thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement following my win last weekend in Plouay.
See you all in a few months,
Gerro

Thanks for stopping by and commenting Gerro.  Unfortunately I doubt that I can give you too many Cycling Tips that’ll help you through the Vuelta, but I can certainly offer some life tips as you say. A great place to start is by giving advice for you as a cyclist after you get married.  Trust me, I’d veer away from taking tips from Lance on this topic.  Here are a few tips on how to balance your cycling with long healthy marriage:

  • When arriving home 3hrs late from a ride always blame it on your mates.  Something like “Thor crashed again and we had to take him to the hospital”, or “Carlos bonked and I had to drag him home – took forever…”.  It’s NEVER your fault.  You can bet they’re using you as a scapegoat and it’s best you do the same.
  • No matter how much money you make your wife will always scrutinize your bike related purchases.  Even at the beginning of the season at team presentation when SKY gives you a truckload of new kit and bikes.  You’ll come home all excited with this new stuff and your wife will be standing at the door with her arms crossed.  “Was getting that TT bike really necessary? You had two last year!  Look at this place – there’s Cervelos everywhere!”.  Get used to it.  She is the all mighty CFO of your little organization.
  • There may be the occasional time where sponsors aren’t throwing equipment your way and you really really “need” a new set of wheels for example.  Never just go out and buy these wheels and come home with them.  This will put you in the dog house quicker than you can say “Zipp”.  The sales cycle needs to last a couple of months.  The first thing you do is plant the seed.  Use the old trick telling her that these wheels are gonna set us back $5k.  It’ll be disruptive at first but she’ll get over it.  After she’s had a bit of time to digest the idea you tell her that you’ve found them for $3k and it’s a mega-bargain. She’ll agree and tell you to jump a the opportunity as you’re actually saving $2k.
  • When trying to take your wife out on a ride you gotta stay focused.  When you’re out there enjoying your time together and Lance and Levi rock up behind you, you gotta give them the flick.  There’s nothing she’ll hate more that a nice romantic ride turning into a boys club hammer session.  More on riding with your wife here.
  • Even though it is your job, when you want to take off for a 3 week Grand Tour there’s some negotiations that’ll still need to take place.  A nice beach vacation to Seychelles afterwards will do the trick.
  • On the topic of taking a holiday with your wife, this brings up the contentious issue of bringing your bike on vacation.   Trust me, even bringing up the idea of taking your bike with you on your romantic holiday will put you in the doghouse.  Don’t even think about it.  Keep bike trips and wife trips completely separate.
  • Even on that glorious day when you win your first Spring Classic, be prepared – there will be mixed emotions. You’ll come home all rapped saying “Honey, look at this trophy!  I just won Amstel Gold!” and she’ll say, “that’s wonderful Dear. Now quit messing around and put that big ugly thing in the closet with all the rest. You’ve been gone all morning and there’s still tonnes of chores that need to be done”
  • Oh, and those grease stains on your livingroom carpet in Manaco – you’d better clean up your act.  They become a bigger issue after you’re married.

Good luck from all of us at the Vuelta Gerro.  Stages 4, 6, 8 and 9 were made for you.  Let’s see you get a stage win at all 3 Grand Tours.  Also, looking forward to seeing you in Team SKY colors next year. Go get em!

  • LOL. I love the bit about keeping wife and bike trips separate...
  • Mike
    To summarize all of the above, "it's better to ask forgiveness than permission"
  • As for the pro tips, I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the

    “Was getting that TT bike really necessary?"

    I can just imagine trying to rock a TT in the grand tour Eddy Merckx style - "Yeah, my wife though TT bikes were pointless" - I am sure the team manger would love that.
  • Don't know about you fellows, but the my wife is a cat 1 road racer as well, so we don't have any gear scrutinizing. If anything its the opposite from what Wade describes.

    This year I got rather fast and was definitely getting very focused on training, the Mrs. was like "you know we really should get you a power meter!"

    Yes, the veritable "we" working in favour of tech gear... crazy I know.

    This was partly because she wants to see me succeed further and partly because she wants to have me teacher her how to uses it!

    Life is rather hard in our household.
  • Wilf
    Awesome!
  • Chris
    Nice 1 Wade
  • Billy Buster
    Dear Dorothy

    I have a single man’s conundrum: Should I get married & pay $25k for a bike that’ll be worth 4k at the time of settlement or stay single, date the plethora of single women (and the odd neglected cycling wife ;) in Melbn and live happily ever after?
  • hard_man
    I have a simple formula for bike expenses ... what ever it cost just double it becasue my wife will spend at least as much on something for herself.

    so that 10 grand bike will actually cost me 20 grand in real dollars !
  • Billy Buster
    Not a reference to you or your wife, but as a single man looking at your 'real dollars' scenario, hypothetically does that mean if a cyclist were to divorce a wife she would also take half of the bike (or to the value of the 'asset')? Keep in mind 'personal belongings' like clothing, shoes etc. may not be included in any divorce settlement.

    Getting married scares me more than facing Mt Baw Baw with a 39/11!
  • Rob
    Whenever I buy something obscenely expensive I always take the stickers off so my wife can't google it to see how much it cost. Works like a charm!
  • FS
    I have a tacit agreement with my better half, that the price of any velo gear remain undeclared if that below of any of her dresses, shoes, bags, cosmetics etc. on the proviso that either partner not query the other, with only the percentage of discounts from a sale, mark down, bargain bin or the internet be open to scrutiny. Included in this agreemet (and least plausable) are items I find having fallen off someone elses bike or rear pocket whilst riding the previous morning on Beach Road. These can include accessories such as a rear light, pump, carbon bidon cages, computer, team issue apparel, , micro tool, brake pads, dry lube etc. [Just wish I could convince her that some riders are capable of leaving behind their Zipp 303's]
  • I love the way you write... very insightful tips... and oh so funny!
  • Anonymous
    I love the fact that excuse numebr 1 for arriving home late is universal so and so bonked/crashed had to drag his fat arse home etc etc.

    I am lucky that one of my wifes ex's was also cyclist and therefore she accepts the excuse while knowing full well that I was having so muchfun that I forgot to call or text to say that I would be late.

    Love the post CT
  • Brad
    And it helps that Gerro's wife is a handy cyclist in her own right...
  • Anonymous
    Gerro still has a girlfriend - Rahna. Not married yet
  • Brad
    Technicality
  • Tommy P
    Gerro's wife cheers him at races and runs his cyclist website; sourcing photos, results, info etc. Maybe it is Gerro who should be providing some 'tips' on wife selection and maintenance?

    "Hey sweetie, I'm off racing for a couple of weeks but if all goes well we should be able to buy that Ferrari you wanted for getting to your coffee dates around Monaco."
  • [offtopic]Mr. Tips: if you click on the little number on a comment, it' gives ya a direct link to the comment. So in this case gerro's comment.[/offtopic]

    Mr. Gerro: I call dibs on your bike after your done this season.
  • Beauty - Thank Huphtur!
  • Haywarm
    I also find that linking any purchase to safety is a good one:
    "Sweet, the braking surface on my wheels is almost worn away, I would hate to blow a tire off while I was hard under brakes, coming down to that intersection at 80 km/hr!"

    Another point: if you think it is tough now, wait till there are 4 (yes, I have worked out where they are coming from) kids in the mix!
  • I"m sure Beagle will agree!
  • Beagle
    I would, but I'm too busy furiously taking notes about what to do next time Lance and Levi try to tempt me with a ride.
    Great post CT!
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